Wednesday, November 23, 2016

And Then There Were None

Princess left the planet sometime Sunday/Monday. I have no cats, now.

I've lost 4 cats in the past two years. I've also lost 3 people in my life, and a few other things that mattered to me. It's been 2 years of non-stop grief.

Back to Princess...
I'd taken her to a friend's house to spend my vacation with some noise and company, as she was the only cat left, and this is the first time I've gone out of town since she's been alone. And I'm gone for ten days. I didn't want her to be lonely. She seemed to be settling in OK and adjusting for the nonce. I'd included my favorite couch blanket that she and I shared, so she would have my smells. She had litter box, all her favorite foods, and two favorite toys.

Monday, just as I was packing the car to leave for my transport, I got a call from my friend that she'd passed. She appeared to have been looking out the window and either had a stroke or seizure. She was in the middle of the floor, spread out and gone.

I usually have a sense when a cat leaves. In this instance, I didn't have anything. No "goodbye," "I'm leaving" or anything. I didn't sleep well because I never do. All day, while traveling, I wanted to roll up into a little ball and cry.

I got here, at my destination, and shared on Facebook, with a couple friends and so on. It seemed to be the thing to do.

I'm so grateful my friend was able to care for Princess' remains. I couldn't. I didn't have time.

I know that when everything leaves, there is a reason. I don't know what the next stage will bring, but it hurts to move away from the familiar. It hurts to let go.

I've decided that I'll clean all the cat hair out of the apartment, and go through the cat toys. There are some I can toss, others I can pass on to some cat owners I know. I have an entire box of cat stuff - salmon oil and such, that I can toss. I need a good housecleaning there. So, now is a good time.

Come February, I will look for another cat. I'll be in a position to know if I'm staying where I'm living or if I'll be moving again.

I don't know if my next cat will be a grown cat, rescue, kitten, or even a dog. I have no idea. That's then and this is now. I hope for a cat because cats are my favorites, but a dog would be good for exercise. I had a cat and a dog once, and the cat would walk the dog with me. He was a hoot!

Goodbye, my Princess. You are already missed. It will sink in how much when I return home next week and you aren't there to greet me. I'll really cry at the loneliness, then....

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