Saturday, November 17, 2012

And Then There Were Four

Fluffy lost her battle with Chronic Renal Failure a little after 11:30 this morning. She went peacefully. The last few minutes, she was out of pain.

When I got home from school yesterday afternoon, I saw how changed she was. Her face was different. Her eyes were different. She wasn't Fluffy anymore. She was a ghost.

The dreams I had over the last week were her saying good-bye and begging for release.

I do have a couple of photos of her from yesterday and today, but I prefer to remember her with us, with her spirit engaged.

She will be buried tomorrow, after her grave is dug. I don't believe in digging graves unless I have to. So, I wait until they are needed.

The other cats pretty much ignored her the last few weeks. When I sat down to talk to Fluffy yesterday and last night, they crowded around asking why I was spending time on a ghost. They had said good-bye to her, but I had not.

This morning, when we arrived at the vet's office, she mewed excitedly. It was like she knew she was going home, over the Rainbow Bridge. She wanted to go.

Her gentle spirit will be missed. I've done most of my grieving before this, over her illness. I will probably cry later, but right now, I just have business to attend to. The business of dying.

Sleep in peace, my Flufferdoodle. My Fluffy Bear.


Anya said...

So, so sorry - my thoughts are with you.

Bobbi said...

So sad :(

Bobbi said...

Sorry for your loss :(